Making A Home on the Road

There is a saying in the RV community that “Home Is Where We Park It!” We are finding, not surprisingly, that there is an art to making that aspiration a reality. Honing that art has pushed us to think more deeply about what it means to “have a home”.

Before heading out on this adventure, our longest time in the Airstream had been three months – and much of that time was spent in Michigan in proximity to kids and grandkids, so did not feel that much like “away”. Our other trips were undertaken with a premise something like: “We are leaving home and going on a trip to see other places, and then we are returning home.” During the “away” time you suspend your need for “having a home” as you engage in an adventure to experience new things. But that doesn’t really work when you are gone for seven months. As a result, we have needed to recontextualize what it means to have a home and settle into the “where we park it” mentality.

It has taken us a while to do that. We drove like mad for six days to get to Albuquerque, so during that time we didn’t really need to think about it. But after we settled into our RV park (where we are staying for two weeks), it dawned on us that we no longer had a “home” in the traditional sense. This stimulated a few days of serious unease and anxiety. We even asked ourselves (under our breath!), whether this was a mistake. What were we thinking??? What helped flip the switch for us was when, after a few days of frantic settling activity (getting provisions, hiking, biking, seeing sites) we stayed at the RV park in our trailer and didn’t go anywhere for two days.

In our period of anxiety, I had done some web surfing on what it means to have a home, and the queries emphasized some core categories that make sense to us – emotional grounding and safety; a sense of belonging; familiar attachment bonds; and sensory familiarity. A particular snip from the web resonated with us:

“Sensory Familiarity. Home is a sensory landscape — smells, sounds, textures, and light patterns that signal safety. The creak of a familiar floorboard, the smell of morning coffee, or the way sunlight hits the same wall each day all anchor the body and nervous system. This is why even a temporary space can feel like home if it offers familiar cues.”

As we “hung out” in our Airstream with our three Cairn friends, we began to feel these qualities emerge for us – in this space. So many of the things that create familiarity in a home have had to be recreated in our 190 square feet. Simple things matter, like just figuring out where to put stuff so you can mindlessly retrieve it; knowing where to get groceries, gas, hardware, wine, and other provisions; having a stable pet routine; adapting routines like coffee and breakfast in bed to a new small space. In your own home, so many of these things are part of your house “autonomic nervous system” – things that just happen without having to really think about them.

So how is our “home on the road” going? Not done, of course. But we have concluded that we do love the experience and have no regrets for having taken the leap. We’ll let you know how that feels in another four months!

Other Albuquerque Adventures

We’ve been here for 10 days now and have done some things other than contemplate the concept of “home”. John had a good colleague and friend (who some of you know – Jessica Boehland, who works for the Kresge Foundation) who just happened to be in town for a conference of the Environmental Grantmakers Association. John and Jessica took the tram (one of the five longest trams in the world) up to the top of Sandia Peak (10,400 feet) and hiked the rim trail. Awesome views with low effort.

John also did several bike rides, include a mountain bike route not far from the park. In a stroke of synchronicity, he arrived at exactly the same time as the ribbon cutting opening of the trail and rode the trail for its first workout with several folks from the City of Albuquerque and the state Parks department. We’re waiting to see his photo in the City press release. 

In closing, you, our friends and family, and our connectivity to you, are of course part of what allows us to “make a home on the road”!

Until the next post…

Take Care, John & Michelle